Bernard's Blog - 5th August 'Flopsy Returns!'

Well I'm havun a lovely morning, took my tablets, put my shirts in at 30 degrees quick wash, put the bin out, put the milk away, had a stroll to the post box, killed a gypsy....no I'm only kiddun' yer... I din't rarely put the milk away!...The wife does that....so...

Flopsy has arrived back from Germany! And although she is covered in stitches and is barely recognisable with teh bruising and swelling I know he will be ok. We had a little moment together when I rubbed him under his chin, blast he loved ut. Made his right ear fall off, but he loved ut. Got my wife to stitch it back on. I've just looked at the poll on the Dave & Confused page to see what Flopsy should do next. Three flickun votes! Is that all?! Come on yew lot!

Joyce hes been ringun but I've gone technical and got 'caller display' I'm ignoring her today, she can just crawl in to town on her own. Well, that craze yer dunt ut? I've told the wife I'd take her out to a carvery, she looked excited, £3.95 well you can't go wrong, a carvery is every Norfolk man's dream hent ut?  

Why do rulers only go up to 30cm? See you later, gotta catch the early post. It's all about getting the 12:30 post hent ut?