Bernard Here, with the second in my ground breaking science series.

Last week I explained how I regularly travel through time using a Hula-hoop, a washing machine and an electric oven.

This week...Anti-Gravity in your Conservatory.

We all love conservatory's dunt we? "Look at the Easter Cactus!", "If I stay still that Blackbird sometimes comes just inside the door Beryl." These are the sort of conversations we've all had in a conservatory. Now you can have them whilst floating about, weightless.

Hello, thas' Bernard here with my first in a new series of science specials!

Now, we've all heard of that flickun' Hydron Collider in that Switzerland hent we? As if there hent enough to worry about in life without  fidlun and fartun about with the worlds largest and highest-energy particle accelerator! Well, let me tell you this, I dunt need a 20 mile hole to explore the deepest laws of nature. I've been do'un it for years boy and all I've been using is my washing machine and a rabbit. And you can too!

REUTERS NEWS AGENCY (FACT):-

Bernard Stringer is said to be distraught after it emerged that Dylan, the rabbit playing Oscar Wilde in Mr Stringer's ambitious stage play of the life and times of Oscar Wilde is actually a she. His play 'Rabbits of the Wilde Frontier' is due to begin next month. Never before has a play about the life and times of Oscar Wilde featured an all rabbit cast.

Hullo darlun. Thas Bernard hare, here, hair? Here! Now I am delighted to announce details of a stage play I have written and am directing. Now, I dunt like the theatre, last time we went to the theatre we had to turn the car round just as we arrived at the carpark cos my wife, bless her, started screaming 'Bernard! I've left the hair straightners on! Turn the car round!' Stoopud woman, why she uses hair straightners is a mystery as she's totally bald. All her hair fell out when her sisters tortoise went on a rampage and ate her Grandad. The shock caused her to go bald.

OBITUARIES.

Flopsy 1994 - 2007

Sadly, Flopsy passed away on the evening of Oct 1st 2009 after choking on a Chupa Chup in his North Walsham hutch. Vets have ruled out foul play. Flopsy was 13 years old. The grey dwarf rabbit was the best friend and partner of Bernard Stringer, an occasional recording artiste from North Walsham and regular guest on Future Radio. Flopsy shot to fame after attempting to sail across the Atlantic in a specially built rabbit Wherry.