Disaster strikes Bernards Play as Rabbit playing Oscar Wilde involved in Sex Scandal!!!

REUTERS NEWS AGENCY (FACT):-

Bernard Stringer is said to be distraught after it emerged that Dylan, the rabbit playing Oscar Wilde in Mr Stringer's ambitious stage play of the life and times of Oscar Wilde is actually a she. His play 'Rabbits of the Wilde Frontier' is due to begin next month. Never before has a play about the life and times of Oscar Wilde featured an all rabbit cast.

                           "The only one I know."

Mr Stringer 59 and from North Walsham said "Dylan is the only one I know able to play the part, but I am keeping to the integrity of the story and I need a buck to play Wilde."

                               "Tellin' stories."

Suspicions about the sex of Dylan, a fat rabbit from Spixworth began to arise after Mr Tingle, the rabbit playing Lord Byron was spotted 'in an act copulation' by the Lighting director, ex England defender, now Norfolk explorer Sol Cambell. "I'd heard whispers, people tellin' stories, but then I walked in on them. I thought it was part of the story,."

      "Nick Ross (Presenter) 53, Kate Aidie (Reporter) 61, Duncan Goodhew (Olympic Swimmer) 49."

Bernard told reporters:-"I'm not making 9 Fickun' Songs! Although I've thought about making 9 Songs With Rabbits. You know, 2 rabbits, they get it on so to speak, in an arty way, after going to see me perfrom various songs at Stalham pubs, the first one is 'Tinky Winky Woo. 9 Songs (with Rabbits), maybe in 3D, James Cameron is interested."

           "Hey, hey, come out tonight! Popscene. Alright!"

So now rehearsals are in jeopardy. Dylan is pregnant. On Friday between 2-4pm Bernard will make a passionate appeal on the Dave & Confused show asking if anyone listening has a rabbit that can step in and play Oscar Wilde.

                        "Zulu's, thousands of 'em."

Bernard, a man whom doctors have said 'is not really coping with the loss of his pet rabbit Flopsy, has tried to take his mind off the loss by putting all his efforts into various rabbit related projects. These include;-

The Rabbit Wire - An ambitious and gritty detective show set on the Heatsease Estate where gangs of rabbits sell illegal 'Mixi' to addicted bunnies.

Zulu - Basically like the film, only with Rabbits.

Rabbitar - Set in the future in 3D, Rabbits ...yeah you get the idea.

Rabbit & I - 2 loser acting rabbits at the end of the 60s go on holdiay by mistake.

Bunny and Clyde - Basically just a flickun' good pun. I might take the rest of the day off after coming up with that beauty.

Actually, I'm going to. See you later.