Science with Bernard pt2 :- How to Anti-Gravitate in Your Conservatory

Bernard Here, with the second in my ground breaking science series.

Last week I explained how I regularly travel through time using a Hula-hoop, a washing machine and an electric oven.

This week...Anti-Gravity in your Conservatory.

We all love conservatory's dunt we? "Look at the Easter Cactus!", "If I stay still that Blackbird sometimes comes just inside the door Beryl." These are the sort of conversations we've all had in a conservatory. Now you can have them whilst floating about, weightless.

How do you achieve anti-gravity Bernard?

Well, you'll need a flanel, a tortoise shell effect plastic comb, some raseberries and a shovel.

What do I do with a flanel, a tortoise shell effect plastic comb, some raseberries and a shovel Bernard?

Well, I'm comun to that bit now. First you attach raseberries to the prongs of the tortoise shell effect plastic comb. Then whack the comb with a shovel. You should have lots of raseberry juice after this. Simply wipe raseberry juice onto the flanel and smear all over your face. Hey presto! You're floating in your own conservatory!

How long do ut last for Bernard? 

10 minutes.

Next week, invisibilty made easy.